Game of Thrones
Plot synopsis by someone that never GoT it.
So, there was this mystical land ever so far away in the head of a syphilitic mind we’ll call GRRM. This is GRRM:
Paradoxically, GRRM has never been laid (why? See picture, above), so he couldn’t have contracted syphilis, but pagan-christ do his characters have sex so they must have the craze and by the anachronisms I’m guessing no penicillin.
Anyway, there are some number of kingdoms and they’re playing the game of thrones.
It started off when they were bored because there is endless winter in GRRM’s cold dark heart where his writing comes from. In their boredom they challenged each other to eat pots and pots of chili until they were competing for the thrones (see picture, above).
Anyway, I don’t know what happens, but a lot of people die.
There is a lot of sex.
Because of all the hedonism some guy sitting on the Throne in the Game tried to introduce gay marriage.
All the characters, well, at least two (by word of mouth), were having lots of gay sex. I don’t know who the characters were, but I’m assuming this one with mommy problems…
So I guess the GRRM reality is we should go back to the dark ages because that’d be cool.
MAKES ME GIANT RAINBOW RAGE MONSTER
So there’s this section on page 31 of the 2012 Republican Platform, “Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage.” It starts off,
The institution of marriage is the foundation of civil society. Its success as an institution will determine our success as a nation. It has been proven by both experience and endless social science studies that traditional marriage is best for children.
Aside from that last sentence being a distortion of fact, if not blatantly untrue, and that I vehemently disagree with the use of “traditional” (I suppose implying “heterosexual”) marriage, I can handle this. Frankly, I kind of agree with the first two sentences, in specific contexts, but obviously that is not exclusive to so-called “traditional” families. Anyway, it’s nothing you wouldn’t expect from Republican bigots.
But then the paragraph concludes with this little gem:
…the union of one man and one woman must be upheld as the national standard, a goal to stand for, encourage, and promote through laws governing marriage. We embrace the principle that all Americans should be treated with respect and dignity [EMPHASIS ADDED].
Excuse me, I need to go find my dreidel; a reality check is in order. Nope, not a dream. What kind of parallel universe are Republicans living in that such an exclusionary proclamation can be concluded with “respect and dignity”… RAGE, RAINBOW-HULKIFIED ANGER.
Two general approaches to Christian sexuality can be discerned in the early church, distinct in their relation to “orientation.” The earliest, evident in the New Testament, is similar to the “sex is dangerous” approach of pagan ethics: eroticism is a troublesome aspect of a fallen world; Christians should attempt to control it through responsible use. This approach would not, in itself, create distinctions based on gender object choice, because it focuses on the permanence and fidelity of erotic relationships, qualities that could be and were present in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships in the ancient world. Longlasting homosexual unions and even official marriages were known in Greece and Rome, and Christian ceremonies of union for males closely resembling, if not actually constituting, marriage were also common in parts of the Christian world throughout the Early Middle Ages; they invoked well known pairs of saints as models for permanent, erotic same-sex relationships. Even in areas were such relationships were not recognized, there was through the end of the twelfth century a strong tradition in Christian thought which regarded homosexuality and heterosexuality as two sides of the same coin - either could be put to good or bad use, depending on the extent to which it was directed toward godly or ungodly ends. Any faithful and selfless passion subordinated to God’s love, in this tradition, might be holy and sanctifying, just as any selfish lust was sinful.